Get Ayds and lose weight!

Oh the 80's....what a disasterous time!

Bears, Pumas, and Cougars....

OH MY!

This is a funny video and is something that has been occurring within the confines of the city of Washington, DC recently....I won't name names because you know who you are!!

They fart glitter...

Unicorns are amazing...if you do not think so then never read this blog again!

Here are some unicorn clips for your enjoyment....

Final Countdown.

and of course Unicorn Planet.

As I was looking for a unicorn picture to post I ran across this website...

Haters...unicorns are not racist.

Cord Blood Banking

I wish facebook would not advertise such things. GROSS!

♫ Conversation:

Friend: cord blood is awesome

me: gross!

Friend: i have a nice big glass of it every morning

Bonus: Read our new cord blood blog post: Dog Days of Summer Cord Blood Discount

From Russia with love...

Women are treated poorly worldwide...at least it is consistent.

My friends reactions:
Friend 1: seems reasonable to me

and

Friend 2: applying for jobs in russia now?

LOL

me: sounds great!

Friend 2: her honey pot would be quite busy! me: gross

Friend 2: haha

Update:
Of course the solution would be to ban cell phones.

Found another reason to hate the Military...

This is a disgrace!

Speechless.

I blame Julia Stiles...

And Rider Strong.

Conversation:
Brother: ugh.
that ad makes me want to stab out my eyes
and pour bleach in the holes
and mail my eyes to the obama campaign in protest.
me: HAHAHAHAHAHHA
awesome

Poor guy.

At least the children give him a good home.

Whoa Doggy!

What a turn off!

Conversation:

Friend: lolsort of reminds me of how i lost my virginity

Apparently my posts today involve "lady bits"...

Check out this answering machine message.

And don't let your vagical fallout leave you confused!

Anyone looking for a part time job?

Bukkake.

Conversation:

me: nothing to say to that....really?!?!?!?!?!
Friend: hahahahahahahhahaha
wtf?
hilarious
hadn't read it until just now
me: Popping!
hahaha
i love that you don't get paid if you are late cumming
Friend: how on earth did you stumble onto that?
looking for part-time work, is she?
me: i have my ways
hahahaha

And what exactly is "proof of the pop" being handed over????

Oh Brother....

My brother felt the urge to send me this.

me: um why?
i ask
why?
Brother: why would someone do that?
I don't know.
because they're crazy.
why did I send it to you?
because I'm evil.
me: but why were you looking it up?
Brother: it was on reddit.
me: oh thank god.

Thanks Brother!

Friend said she was stressin'

so I sent her this.


Conversation after she watches the video...

Friend: you've changed my life. i'm going to go masturbate with cheese now
me: hahahaha
sweet!
pee on children!
wear sweatpants in public!!!!

You can end the world yourself!

What an appropriate game for a blog named after the world ending!!

Let me know what you name your disease!!!!

The aroma of alcohol on your breath is apparent...

Dear Hot Mess,

An anonymous visitor stopped by NiceCritic.com and selected the following message for you:

The aroma of alcohol on your breath is apparent.

Thanks "friend" for letting me know about this issue...oh and taking over my inbox with items like "It seems like your thong is showing" or "You have a noticeable post-bathroom stain"....and having me mass email everyone I know accusing them!

Conversation 1:

Friend: have a liquid lunch today?

me: what?

no

why?

Friend: no reason...didn't know if you got any interesting emails today

me: you bitch!Friend: Please, i am a bastard

Conversation 2:

Friend: In your quest to get to the bottom of this you may have unleashed something much much worse.

You may want to get that looked at...

little birdy.

Should I respond...

to this?

Friend: lol
ummmm . . . . . please don't respond
i don't want to see you tranny-napped
me: hahahaha
Friend: "the hot mess" story on dateline nbc

Update:
Another Friend: you should respond - and tell him to take you to bear happy hour

I Stole Your Purse.

People from Kansas City should not try to make it in New York...FAIL!

Apparently I am on a farm animal kick today...

Check out the iPig!

And this!

Thanks friend for sending me these!

Who thinks of doing this?

And where are they on display at???

Sheep.

Roommate: THAT.. is brilliant...

the phone thing

i think we should get one for our living room between that and the pigs we could have a "farm chic" thing going on

Agreed.

Why do they do this to the poor sheep?

(courtesy of sleepingbad on youtube)

me: hahaha

he just wanted friends

why did they run

Friend: i know...it's funny b/c you can almost hear him saying, guys, wait it's me, Hank, I just can't get this mask off

STOP KILLING PIGS!

I am just getting this off my chest then I will post more fun random news. First Iowa...now this? Really?

The Army sucks.

FUCKING AMAZING!

I have never heard anything more amazing!

WTF?!?!?!?!!

That is all I have to say about this. More pics here.

We are B**yards.

Poor guy.

...mostly because he worked for Red Lobster but I guess also that he felt the need to commit suicide...

Question:
That CSI episode happened in 2003...was he thinking about doing it the entire time or did he catch a rerun?

Conversation with brother:
me: wow.
brother: you'd kill yourself too if you worked for red lobster.
me: hahaha true.
brother: but we have to kill ourselves anyway, since we're b**yards. I'm going to use more balloons.

"The Goot is on the loose!"

Steve Guttenberg is HOTT.

A couple of true gems come out of this article......

Gem #1
“I indulge in wine, and I love vodka, I do,” he said. “And I love scotch, you know. And I love weed. And I love women. And I do have, you know, those … Addiction is such an overused word."

Gem #2
He’s being honored at the Fire Island Golden Wagon Film Festival on July 19. They’re doing a retrospective of his work and giving him the Tony Randall Lifetime Achievement Award. “It’s not a gay festival,” he said. “I guess you know Fire Island’s pretty gay. Hey! I gotta tell you something—a good gay rumor about me might not be a bad thing to start. You know, a lot of heavyweight actors are gay. And they do very well.”

Who can resist someone who starred in this??

A friend said it best on gchat:

Friend: you'll have to fight me for him now
me: hahaha
NO!
Friend: he is just too good to pass up

World's Greatest Dad!

Wow. No words.

Greatest Dad.

Sexual Identity

Disturbance?!?!?!? Really?!?!?!?!

Conversation:

me: sexual identity disturbance?!?!?!?
Friend: that is unbelievable

do they think you will suck dick and drive at the same time???

what the hell?

Pull it together Italy!

Re: Gross.

Just had to add this....

Why do you have to tell us that you are not cousins???

Gross.

Gross.

Make sure to read the comments after the article. It is like people are okay with this......

Below are conversations I had with my friends on gchat......

Conversation 1:
Friend: i guess it depends on how hot your brother is
me: um gross!
Friend: LOL

Conversation 2:
Brother: don't get any ideas...
me: sick!

Conversation 3:
Friend: it happens a lot with gay guys and brothers
me: gross!
Friend: i'm just saying it does
I know of twins it happened with
uncles and nephews of close age
cousins
I think it's different with guys
I mean most guys straight or gay have some kind of boy on boy experience
and tend to just write it off
me: but family? gross!
Friend: I have no siblings
so I can't say

Thoughts:
...I am not sure why it matters if you have siblings or not to find this gross...